Cats Are Evil

Cats are the work of the devil. Perhaps they even are the devil.

While you often hear of “hell hounds” and “devil dogs,” those aloof yet alluring fur balls that allow us to pretend to own them have managed to avoid any sort of association with the fiery pits of hell from whence they came. The slandering of dogs through biased media spin is just one tactic in the feline plot to carry on their nefarious deeds unnoticed.

As Verbal said in The Usual Suspects, “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” And Cats have done a smack up job of convincing the world that they aren’t Satan’s minions. But it’s true, and I have proof.

Look at these cats, they’re adorable, angelic even:

But they are the SPAWN OF SATAN! Just turn out the lights and their evil shines through:

Back beasts! Back to the pit from whence you came! They might look innocent and white in the shining light of day, but the mark of the beast is on them. And don’t think that it’s just a cute little night light glow, when the kittens gain full control of their demonic powers they can consume your very soul:

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